Jun 30, 2019

If you've ever been in mortal peril, you know the most crucial decision you'll make in that situation is your choice of writing implement. 

No? Well, that makes you smarter than this crowd, but before your head swells up just in time for bikini season, remember, we are talking about the dumbest bunch of sofa cushions...

Jun 16, 2019

You know that one colleague at work who is just hopeless? Tries earnestly to do the job, help out, and be useful, but usually ends up spilling his beer on the control panel and shorting out half the city? Yeah, would you mind taking him back because WE HAVE ENOUGH IDIOTS UP HERE, THANKS.

Sorry.

Seriously the best part...

Jun 9, 2019

It's that kind of day, innit? One minute, you're out having a quick ciggie next to the tip, and then the world goes all wobbly, and suddenly you're aboard someone else's spaceship, only it's held together with duct tape and optimism and crewed by the biggest bunch of idiots who ever graced the skies, and there's...

Jun 2, 2019

The episode that finally answers the critical question: why do robots climb like cows?

There's an arm under the sofa, Jessie's dangling from a shelf in Maintenance Bay 15, and we learn what ligatures are for.

It's, like, Day 7? 8? aboard the Oz 9, and things haven't gotten any better. Does anyone know a good...